When it comes to my health I am a quitzilla. Growing up I was always small and never had to worry about watching my weight or taking care of myself. It wasn't until my 20s that I started working out and I did it for a couple of years and really enjoyed it. But, I quit. I quit in a stressful time of my life when working out could have been beneficial. Instead, I was defeated by anxiety and ultimately surrendered to medication to relieve those symptoms. A few months and 40 lbs later I found myself in the doctor office with super high blood pressure and found myself on yet another medication. I was 27. On blood pressure medicine at 27 all because of being overweight and stressed. Let that sink in.
Now, 10 years later I am pressing close to the dreaded "over the hill" age. How did I get here so fast? Seems like yesterday I graduated from high school but next year I will be attending our 20th year reunion!! The point is, I quit loving myself enough to care about my health. I would diet for a while, see no results and quit. I would go to the gym, feel sick after a workout, get frustrated and....quit! It has been a vicious cycle for 10 long years!
This hamster wheel of self destruction has been an achilies heel in my life; relationships and my health being the two main victims. When I recommitted my life to Christ several years ago, the cycle of destructive relationships came to an end and healing began in that area. Spiritually and emotional I was being healed but for some reason I totally ignored my physical body. As Christians I think we often do that, don't we? We tend to focus on the spiritual and ignore the physical; this is especially true in my southern, country style cooking upbringing. Over the past few years I have felt a nudging to focus on my physical health more. I have had good intentions by starting healthy regimens but then I bake cookies and quit. Because ONE devoured gooey chocolate chip cookie = failure, right? WRONG!
Recently, a small group of us girls have started following along with an online bible study through Proverbs 31 ministries titled, "5 habits of a woman who doesn't quit". What study could be more perfect, right? *sigh*. Question is, what study could be more challenging? Though this study is exactly what I needed right now, it is HARD facing the raw truth of my weaknesses. I love when the author says, "To put aside old habits and put new ones on isn't comfortable. Maybe it sounds exciting at first, but to follow through despite how you feel and stay open to what God is doing - it's tough." Dang sure is! I never realized how often I give excuses, complain or don't give my all until I started this study. Realizing how much quitting is ingrained in me is tough to accept. But, just as in my spiritual transformation, I have to face my weaknesses to get through the messy parts before God can mold it into something beautiful.
As as we come up on Mother's Day and I realize I am actually a Mother now (omg I am a mom!), I now have Savannah to think about. I want her to grow up loving herself, having self worth and both emotionally and physically caring for the body God gave her. How can I teach her those things without first being an example? I have some work to do, folks! So, even though I am only a couple of weeks in, I am on my way to refusing to quit. One cookie won't stop me now - I have grace that covers that! Mercies are new every morning. As long as I am trying and refusing to quit I think I will be ok. The road is going to be bumpy and rough but I know I have cheerleaders in my corner. Thanks to my cousin Randi and her "pain cave", I can count on feeling physical pain at least twice a week and for her constant support and stubbornness to let me quit on myself. Most of all I know there is nothing I can do on my own strength - I will have to rely heavily on God for this.
Who knows, maybe I will quit again - but i hope not. I hope I will allow the deep conviction to care about my body to fuel my determination this time. I hope I will not allow one day of eating a piece of cake (oops) to derail the mental progess I have made. And I hope Randi will yell at me when I start whining about doing cardio - oh how I hate cardio! So, even though I run slower than a herd of turtles stampeding though peanut butter, I will run. Bless my heart.
I have always been a quitter - till now.
2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
When it comes to my health I am a quitzilla. Growing up I was always small and never had to worry about watching my weight or taking care of myself. It wasn't until my 20s that I started working out and I did it for a couple of years and really enjoyed it. But, I quit. I quit in a stressful time of my life when working out could have been beneficial. Instead, I was defeated by anxiety and ultimately surrendered to medication to relieve those symptoms. A few months and 40 lbs later I found myself in the doctor office with super high blood pressure and found myself on yet another medication. I was 27. On blood pressure medicine at 27 all because of being overweight and stressed. Let that sink in.
Now, 10 years later I am pressing close to the dreaded "over the hill" age. How did I get here so fast? Seems like yesterday I graduated from high school but next year I will be attending our 20th year reunion!! The point is, I quit loving myself enough to care about my health. I would diet for a while, see no results and quit. I would go to the gym, feel sick after a workout, get frustrated and....quit! It has been a vicious cycle for 10 long years!
This hamster wheel of self destruction has been an achilies heel in my life; relationships and my health being the two main victims. When I recommitted my life to Christ several years ago, the cycle of destructive relationships came to an end and healing began in that area. Spiritually and emotional I was being healed but for some reason I totally ignored my physical body. As Christians I think we often do that, don't we? We tend to focus on the spiritual and ignore the physical; this is especially true in my southern, country style cooking upbringing. Over the past few years I have felt a nudging to focus on my physical health more. I have had good intentions by starting healthy regimens but then I bake cookies and quit. Because ONE devoured gooey chocolate chip cookie = failure, right? WRONG!
Recently, a small group of us girls have started following along with an online bible study through Proverbs 31 ministries titled, "5 habits of a woman who doesn't quit". What study could be more perfect, right? *sigh*. Question is, what study could be more challenging? Though this study is exactly what I needed right now, it is HARD facing the raw truth of my weaknesses. I love when the author says, "To put aside old habits and put new ones on isn't comfortable. Maybe it sounds exciting at first, but to follow through despite how you feel and stay open to what God is doing - it's tough." Dang sure is! I never realized how often I give excuses, complain or don't give my all until I started this study. Realizing how much quitting is ingrained in me is tough to accept. But, just as in my spiritual transformation, I have to face my weaknesses to get through the messy parts before God can mold it into something beautiful.
As as we come up on Mother's Day and I realize I am actually a Mother now (omg I am a mom!), I now have Savannah to think about. I want her to grow up loving herself, having self worth and both emotionally and physically caring for the body God gave her. How can I teach her those things without first being an example? I have some work to do, folks! So, even though I am only a couple of weeks in, I am on my way to refusing to quit. One cookie won't stop me now - I have grace that covers that! Mercies are new every morning. As long as I am trying and refusing to quit I think I will be ok. The road is going to be bumpy and rough but I know I have cheerleaders in my corner. Thanks to my cousin Randi and her "pain cave", I can count on feeling physical pain at least twice a week and for her constant support and stubbornness to let me quit on myself. Most of all I know there is nothing I can do on my own strength - I will have to rely heavily on God for this.
Who knows, maybe I will quit again - but i hope not. I hope I will allow the deep conviction to care about my body to fuel my determination this time. I hope I will not allow one day of eating a piece of cake (oops) to derail the mental progess I have made. And I hope Randi will yell at me when I start whining about doing cardio - oh how I hate cardio! So, even though I run slower than a herd of turtles stampeding though peanut butter, I will run. Bless my heart.
I have always been a quitter - till now.
2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."