Disclaimer:
The longer we wait to be matched with a baby the more impatient I have become. I am trying to “Be Still”, but my mind keeps running non-stop and the worry is intense. I decided it was time I do something more productive with my overactive mind and turn those worries into praise.
Today, I am overwhelmingly grateful that I have such a wonderful husband. Hear me when I say (are you listening?), we do not have a perfect marriage, BUT we are growing and our foundation is solid. Not one person I know has a perfect marriage, and if you think so you are badly mistaken. I just wanted to be clear on that. I never want to portray something being perfect when it isn’t. Our marriage is exactly where it needs to be right now – in the hands of a God that loves us and cares for us daily. I digress…..
In my quest for praise rather than worry I have been focusing on the things I have learned the past few years which brought me to this topic. This has absolutely nothing to do with the adoption but has everything to do with me managing my stress while we wait for Baby Butler. Think coping strategies people! Anywho, I was thinking of areas I would like to improve in my life and how to work on that before the baby comes. My first weakness is relationships. I have not had a track record of being a good friend. A few friends I have lost because of it, some for the best, others I have apologized for. Nevertheless, this is something I am working on. As I began to think about being a friend and what it looks like I knew I had the perfect person to learn from. My husband. As I started to think about learning to be a better friend, I then looked at other areas of my life that he is teaching me to improve – thus, leading to this blog post. SO, without further ado….
5 Things I Am Learning From My Husband:
1. How to be a good friend
If you are friends with my husband you know if you could count your most dependable friends on one hand, Andy is probably one of them. He would literally give the shirt off is back if he needed to and would probably offer to do so before even been asked. He loves everyone; red, yellow, black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Athiest, or Jew. He loves everyone with the same love. He always remembers birthdays, anniversaries, and special dates of acknowledgment. He consistently calls, texts, emails, or visits people he holds near and dear to his heart; and though many times he does not get shown the same love in return, he continues to show that he cares. He is the most genuine friend one could have and has the biggest heart. If you are a friend of Andy’s, count yourself lucky. You have struck gold in the friend department – and don’t ever forget it. I knew something was different about his friendships when we got married and people came from all over the country to be with us – to support Andy. The more I see how he loves his friends, the more I want to be like that. I am trying to call, text, email and visit more often….it is a process.
2. How to freely give
Echoing what I mentioned in #1, Andy would give the shirt off his back. As followers of Christ, we are called to give 10% of our income to the church we attend. I have to admit that before getting married I struggled in this area. I barely had enough money to pay my bills much less give to the church. Once we were married I watched Andy faithfully write checks before heading to church. I would look at that amount and become tense with worry. How could we afford to give that much of our income away? But Andy faithfully and joyfully gave it. Since we’ve been married I can truly say that somehow God has blessed the checks Andy would write and has allowed us to be financially stable. Andy doesn’t stop there. He constantly feels a prompting to give to people, places, or charities. I have seen proof in his faithfulness and trust him when he gives. We have tried to be very conscientious of our spending so that we can later give more of it away. Dave Ramsey says, “Live like no one else so later you can live and give like no one else” – that is the goal. Giving is addictive. Don’t believe me? Try it. I dare you.
3. How to solve problems with kindness
After landing in Florida from a horrendous flight and having our bags lost, one thing went wrong after another with the airline. It would be completely natural to be angry and yell at the receptionist – I am sure most people do. However, Andy remained calm and gently explained the urgency of our situation. With a smile and his ability to connect with people, he was able to solve our problem AND improve it. I will never forget the reaction from our friend who witnessed the whole transaction. This wasn’t the only time I have been impressed by his kindness skills. In fact I am getting pretty good at it myself. Now if only I could stop rolling my eyes I would be golden! As the saying goes, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”.
4. How to be thankful for another day of life
If you have ever asked Andy how he is doing you have probably heard, “Doin fine sir/ma’am, best day of my life”. Even in his morning prayers the first thing he says is, “Lord thank you for another day of life”. Many times I forget to be thankful. I forget that I could easily not have tomorrow. Even with many lost lives around me, still I forget. Andy doesn’t. He never forgets. I am glad he remembers for me so that I too don’t forget to be thankful for this precious life we have. He is fun loving, goofy and a down right dork sometimes (see picture) - but he enjoys every minute. That kind of joy for life is rare to find.
5. How to pray for other people – daily
I know you all can’t hear the prayers we send up before going to bed each night but I wish you could. It is the most precious time I have with my husband and honestly the time I learn the most about his heart. If you are on his friends list or on mine, chances are that he has prayed for you. He says prayers of thanksgiving, prayers of protection, prayers of peace and mercy. He prays for any and every person that he knows is hurting for whatever reason. Oh how he loves his family and friends. If he has ever told you that he is praying for you – you best believe it.
These are things he is teaching me. He models Christ for me. Of course there are times when he worries a little too much or gets distracted or overambitious and makes me want to strangle him, but who doesn’t. Overall, as I look at him through many different lenses, what I see is absolutely beautiful. He is the hands and feet of Jesus. The more I watch him and hear the way he treats others, the more I see what it really means to be a follower of Christ. I have no doubt in my mind that the good Lord looks down on him daily and says, “Well done.”
Who wouldn’t want to learn from someone like that?
The longer we wait to be matched with a baby the more impatient I have become. I am trying to “Be Still”, but my mind keeps running non-stop and the worry is intense. I decided it was time I do something more productive with my overactive mind and turn those worries into praise.
Today, I am overwhelmingly grateful that I have such a wonderful husband. Hear me when I say (are you listening?), we do not have a perfect marriage, BUT we are growing and our foundation is solid. Not one person I know has a perfect marriage, and if you think so you are badly mistaken. I just wanted to be clear on that. I never want to portray something being perfect when it isn’t. Our marriage is exactly where it needs to be right now – in the hands of a God that loves us and cares for us daily. I digress…..
In my quest for praise rather than worry I have been focusing on the things I have learned the past few years which brought me to this topic. This has absolutely nothing to do with the adoption but has everything to do with me managing my stress while we wait for Baby Butler. Think coping strategies people! Anywho, I was thinking of areas I would like to improve in my life and how to work on that before the baby comes. My first weakness is relationships. I have not had a track record of being a good friend. A few friends I have lost because of it, some for the best, others I have apologized for. Nevertheless, this is something I am working on. As I began to think about being a friend and what it looks like I knew I had the perfect person to learn from. My husband. As I started to think about learning to be a better friend, I then looked at other areas of my life that he is teaching me to improve – thus, leading to this blog post. SO, without further ado….
5 Things I Am Learning From My Husband:
1. How to be a good friend
If you are friends with my husband you know if you could count your most dependable friends on one hand, Andy is probably one of them. He would literally give the shirt off is back if he needed to and would probably offer to do so before even been asked. He loves everyone; red, yellow, black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Athiest, or Jew. He loves everyone with the same love. He always remembers birthdays, anniversaries, and special dates of acknowledgment. He consistently calls, texts, emails, or visits people he holds near and dear to his heart; and though many times he does not get shown the same love in return, he continues to show that he cares. He is the most genuine friend one could have and has the biggest heart. If you are a friend of Andy’s, count yourself lucky. You have struck gold in the friend department – and don’t ever forget it. I knew something was different about his friendships when we got married and people came from all over the country to be with us – to support Andy. The more I see how he loves his friends, the more I want to be like that. I am trying to call, text, email and visit more often….it is a process.
2. How to freely give
Echoing what I mentioned in #1, Andy would give the shirt off his back. As followers of Christ, we are called to give 10% of our income to the church we attend. I have to admit that before getting married I struggled in this area. I barely had enough money to pay my bills much less give to the church. Once we were married I watched Andy faithfully write checks before heading to church. I would look at that amount and become tense with worry. How could we afford to give that much of our income away? But Andy faithfully and joyfully gave it. Since we’ve been married I can truly say that somehow God has blessed the checks Andy would write and has allowed us to be financially stable. Andy doesn’t stop there. He constantly feels a prompting to give to people, places, or charities. I have seen proof in his faithfulness and trust him when he gives. We have tried to be very conscientious of our spending so that we can later give more of it away. Dave Ramsey says, “Live like no one else so later you can live and give like no one else” – that is the goal. Giving is addictive. Don’t believe me? Try it. I dare you.
3. How to solve problems with kindness
After landing in Florida from a horrendous flight and having our bags lost, one thing went wrong after another with the airline. It would be completely natural to be angry and yell at the receptionist – I am sure most people do. However, Andy remained calm and gently explained the urgency of our situation. With a smile and his ability to connect with people, he was able to solve our problem AND improve it. I will never forget the reaction from our friend who witnessed the whole transaction. This wasn’t the only time I have been impressed by his kindness skills. In fact I am getting pretty good at it myself. Now if only I could stop rolling my eyes I would be golden! As the saying goes, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”.
4. How to be thankful for another day of life
If you have ever asked Andy how he is doing you have probably heard, “Doin fine sir/ma’am, best day of my life”. Even in his morning prayers the first thing he says is, “Lord thank you for another day of life”. Many times I forget to be thankful. I forget that I could easily not have tomorrow. Even with many lost lives around me, still I forget. Andy doesn’t. He never forgets. I am glad he remembers for me so that I too don’t forget to be thankful for this precious life we have. He is fun loving, goofy and a down right dork sometimes (see picture) - but he enjoys every minute. That kind of joy for life is rare to find.
5. How to pray for other people – daily
I know you all can’t hear the prayers we send up before going to bed each night but I wish you could. It is the most precious time I have with my husband and honestly the time I learn the most about his heart. If you are on his friends list or on mine, chances are that he has prayed for you. He says prayers of thanksgiving, prayers of protection, prayers of peace and mercy. He prays for any and every person that he knows is hurting for whatever reason. Oh how he loves his family and friends. If he has ever told you that he is praying for you – you best believe it.
These are things he is teaching me. He models Christ for me. Of course there are times when he worries a little too much or gets distracted or overambitious and makes me want to strangle him, but who doesn’t. Overall, as I look at him through many different lenses, what I see is absolutely beautiful. He is the hands and feet of Jesus. The more I watch him and hear the way he treats others, the more I see what it really means to be a follower of Christ. I have no doubt in my mind that the good Lord looks down on him daily and says, “Well done.”
Who wouldn’t want to learn from someone like that?