Hi, my name is Flora and I am a perfectionist.
Saturday and Sunday(Dec 13, 14)…..Probably the most stressful two days I have had in a while. So. Much. To. Do. The first part of our Homestudy was Monday, December 15th at 9am! Needless to say the prior two days turned me into a Tasmanian Devil armed with Windex and floor cleaner. Saturday seemed most productive as we were able to clean out/organize several closets and stuff bags designated for Goodwill. I even made a picture to hang in the nursery. Stressful but i handled it surprisingly (semi) well. Sunday was a different story. Andy is amazing, let me just say that. When he gets to Heaven he will be given a crown just for putting up with me and my crazy perfectionism. I have a tendency to bark orders, plan lists, get agitated and cry when I am overwhelmed by my ever growing To-Do list. Andy takes it in stride, laughs at me and sometimes makes me give him a hug just to calm me down. Bless that man.
I have this unrealistic desire or expectation of things being perfect. If you do not know me well you probably would never guess it. 90% of the time I do not have it together, I’m unorganized and scattered brained, though, I try not to be. This is the dichotomy. My head thinks that I am organized and everything is good but my body is stressed beyond its max and never agrees. Never. Anybody know what I’m talking about? I digress. Having said all of that cleaning and mentally preparing for a homestudy was taxing. Shew, I’m worn out just thinking about it. I was concerned about many things; will she think this house is too small, too cluttered, too dirty or will she think we don’t have enough money? These pointless worries have taken up too much space in my already full brain.
As I mentioned, I made a picture for the nursery/guest room on Saturday. My gracious friend Blaire gave me all of the materials needed to make my own crafty quote to hang on the wall. It was an old picture that I used to write a quote with vinyl letters painted over and then peeled off to reveal the original colors of the picture. It was cool and I was proud. Then it happened….the perfectionist showed its true colors. I hung the picture on the wall and text it to Blaire. The quote was a shortened version (shortened because I didn't have enough letters to fit the whole verse on there. Mistake numero uno of the project) of Ecclesiastes 3:11 that said, “Everything is beautiful in time”. For those of you that know my story, you know that things in transition from nothing or something ugly to becoming beautiful or as I say “Something Beautiful” is my theme which is the reason I chose this verse. BUT, when I took the picture and sent it to Blaire I noticed that the FUL in beautiful was not straight!!!! BLESS!!! I freaked out! All of the work put into this personal touch into the nursery was ruined! Great. I told Blaire I needed to somehow figure out how to fix it. Her response gently reminded me what I have been trying to learn for many years; “Flora, It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful”. I instantly relaxed, looked at the picture and breathed. Everything was going to be ok. The picture, my house, my husband, my job, my looks, and who I am as a person does not have to be perfect for this adoption. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.
Needless to say, the homestudy went smooth as butter! The social worker was a perfect fit for us. The animals were on their best behavior and both Andy and I were relaxed. Thank you for peace, Lord! I am so thankful for the gentle reminder from a dear and wise friend. We have the second portion of our homestudy on January 7th. I am much more relaxed about this one. I will constantly remind myself that it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. . After all, I am a perfectionist in recovery.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 - He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.
Saturday and Sunday(Dec 13, 14)…..Probably the most stressful two days I have had in a while. So. Much. To. Do. The first part of our Homestudy was Monday, December 15th at 9am! Needless to say the prior two days turned me into a Tasmanian Devil armed with Windex and floor cleaner. Saturday seemed most productive as we were able to clean out/organize several closets and stuff bags designated for Goodwill. I even made a picture to hang in the nursery. Stressful but i handled it surprisingly (semi) well. Sunday was a different story. Andy is amazing, let me just say that. When he gets to Heaven he will be given a crown just for putting up with me and my crazy perfectionism. I have a tendency to bark orders, plan lists, get agitated and cry when I am overwhelmed by my ever growing To-Do list. Andy takes it in stride, laughs at me and sometimes makes me give him a hug just to calm me down. Bless that man.
I have this unrealistic desire or expectation of things being perfect. If you do not know me well you probably would never guess it. 90% of the time I do not have it together, I’m unorganized and scattered brained, though, I try not to be. This is the dichotomy. My head thinks that I am organized and everything is good but my body is stressed beyond its max and never agrees. Never. Anybody know what I’m talking about? I digress. Having said all of that cleaning and mentally preparing for a homestudy was taxing. Shew, I’m worn out just thinking about it. I was concerned about many things; will she think this house is too small, too cluttered, too dirty or will she think we don’t have enough money? These pointless worries have taken up too much space in my already full brain.
As I mentioned, I made a picture for the nursery/guest room on Saturday. My gracious friend Blaire gave me all of the materials needed to make my own crafty quote to hang on the wall. It was an old picture that I used to write a quote with vinyl letters painted over and then peeled off to reveal the original colors of the picture. It was cool and I was proud. Then it happened….the perfectionist showed its true colors. I hung the picture on the wall and text it to Blaire. The quote was a shortened version (shortened because I didn't have enough letters to fit the whole verse on there. Mistake numero uno of the project) of Ecclesiastes 3:11 that said, “Everything is beautiful in time”. For those of you that know my story, you know that things in transition from nothing or something ugly to becoming beautiful or as I say “Something Beautiful” is my theme which is the reason I chose this verse. BUT, when I took the picture and sent it to Blaire I noticed that the FUL in beautiful was not straight!!!! BLESS!!! I freaked out! All of the work put into this personal touch into the nursery was ruined! Great. I told Blaire I needed to somehow figure out how to fix it. Her response gently reminded me what I have been trying to learn for many years; “Flora, It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful”. I instantly relaxed, looked at the picture and breathed. Everything was going to be ok. The picture, my house, my husband, my job, my looks, and who I am as a person does not have to be perfect for this adoption. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.
Needless to say, the homestudy went smooth as butter! The social worker was a perfect fit for us. The animals were on their best behavior and both Andy and I were relaxed. Thank you for peace, Lord! I am so thankful for the gentle reminder from a dear and wise friend. We have the second portion of our homestudy on January 7th. I am much more relaxed about this one. I will constantly remind myself that it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. . After all, I am a perfectionist in recovery.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 - He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.